Thursday, February 28, 2008
From Lawns to Projects(Narrative)
"I don't want to leave,I'll stay by myself." These were the words I yelled to my mother as she began to pack our things.I had lived with my mother,grandmother, and great-grandmother from the time I was six until I was about 12.My grandmom's house was in Wesy Philly,the type of neighborhood where everyone had their own lawns.The street was always clean and the neighborhood was filled with a mixture of nice old people and young people.I made friends with everybody on the block and my school was just up the street.I would walk home with my friends Imani,Brittany,Shanay,Tiffany,Samara,and Laila.We would laugh at things that happened at school that day and then run home drop off our bookbags and yell out calls for who was first in the rope for double-dutch.My grandmothers house was cozy.The front porch was closed in with giant sized picture frames of my aunts and uncles when they were children and of me and my cousins.The house was always filled with the smell of chicken.This being because my great grandmother was from down South and loved some fried chicken to death. So as you can see life was perfect.It was now Friday,two days before we were to move.After school I rushed home to beg my mom to reconsider.After all my birthday was in a week and I knew I might not be able to spend it with my friends,and whats worst I would have to learn how to travel on the bus now.I walked through the door and BAM!,all of our stuff was was sitting in the living room waiting to be stuffed into the UHAUL truck I just realized was sitting out front.Everyone just stood there waiting for my reaction,I just stood there bag in hand ,a feeling of disappointment in my chest,the kind you feel when you are trying to hold back tears.Then I saw her,my great-grandmother was sitting at the dining room table crying.I ran to her and asked if she was crying because we were moving.She just turned to me ,grabbed my face, kissed me on the forehead and kept crying. I suddenly started ballin. My grandmother walked up behind me,wiped my tears away and told me that it would be alright.She also told me that my great-grandmother wasn't crying because of the move but because one of her old friends had just passed away.My feelings were truly hurt,they were a cross between sad and salty.I picked up a box that said Sequoya's things and began to walk towards the door.I stopped took one look back shook my head as if to say"um,um,um" and continued through the door.As we drove we came across a bumpy bridge.On the walls were graffitti of the letters S.W.P and other crap I couldn't make out,We made a left at a huge sign with disfigured letters on it that were hard to make out.I managed to understand it though.It read"Welcome to Bartram Village"I don't know if it was the sign or the fight that just broke out across the street in front of the bar that made me realize I would not like it here.
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1.Explain how the writer uses the first sentence or two to grab the reader’s attention. If the opening doesn’t grab your attention, give the writer a suggestion on how to do so. The writer opening was good, they open it with a dialogue which really caught my attention.
2.What is your favorite line from the story? Why?QUOTE: stopped took one look back shook my head as if to say"um,um,um" and continued through the door.I thought it was kinda neat because the writer gave you like an image on what was going on at that moment.
3.Quote the section that contains the most vivid sensory details.QUOTE: stopped took one look back shook my head as if to say"um,um,um" and continued through the door.I thought it was kinda neat because the writer gave you like an image on what was going on at that moment.
4.What section could be improved through more detailed description including sensory details? When the writer describes there neighborhood, for instance like the people or the surroundings.
5.Does the ending wrap up the story?Yeah pretty much so but it could improve a bit.
6.What is clever and/or lively about the ending?I would say when the writer ends it with a piece of detail on what they are "getting themselves" into.
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