BESTFRIEND IS WHAT I CALLED HER !!(FINAL DRAFT)

Malika couldn't even look at me in my face. Words can't describe the way I felt. My warm blood got cold. You would have thought I was in Antarctica. Malika keep saying sorry. But I couldn't pay here any mind. I just keep getting flashbacks of what just took place. Malika had this look of terror in her face. She just knew she was wrong for what she did. She was supposed to be going to the mall with Tyrone to get my birthday present. Yeah right, at least that is what I thought. This was supposed to be the best weekend ever. Carmen and me were at the mall, because I was getting my outfit for my party that weekend. Carmen and me just left H&M. We were on are way into the shoe store. I had my hand in my bag reaching for my phone. Right when I started to call Tyrone, Carmen tapped me on my shoulder. She said Net what color shirt did Tyrone have on today? I said black with a confuse look on my face.
That's when she said aint that him over there kissing Malika. As I turned my head, my phone fall and broke in half. There was Tyrone and Malika kissing. I couldn't control myself. I ran towards them and punched Malika so hard in her face, her head hit the wall. As soon as Tyrone seen Carmen coming, he skated. Malika, how can you do this to me I asked with a heart full of anger. Malika eyes were full with water as she said sorry. I replied and said, “No you aint sorry, you dirty, grimmey bird. I should've known that you wanted him. You always try so hard to be me.” I just wanted to stump her to death . Carmen kept telling me to calm down. But everything she said, was going in one ear and out the other. A security guard came over and asked if everything was ok. I told the officer that I was just leaving. As I walked away I just gave her a hard stare. If looks can kill she would had been six feet under. On my ride home I started crying. I felt so betrayed. My sister told me that there was nothing to worry about. She said you know what they say, what goes around comes around. I said you right as I wiped my tears. Malika was going to feel this pain twice as worse!!

Explain how the writer uses the first sentence or two to grab the reader’s attention. If the opening doesn’t grab your attention, give the writer a suggestion on how to do so.
Combine the first two sentences with more detail to pull you in to the story.

What is your favorite line from the story? Why?"what goes around comes around" because it is very true and I can relate to how she felt and why she said that.

Quote the section that contains the most vivid sensory details.
"I turned my head, my phone fell and broke in half."

What section could be improved through more detailed description including sensory details?
The part that describes how you felt towards Malika at that time, how mad you were inside.

Does the ending wrap up the story?
Yes, it explains true feelings toward Malika and how Malika made her feel.

What is clever and/or lively about the ending? She expresses how she got over that feeling of anger towards Malika.