My Heart Is In My Stomach!!! ( Final Draft)

The morning of my first ballet recital, we’ve practiced for months. I practice all day everyday, at school, the market, walking around the mall, EVERYWHERE. My mom and I are doing a lot of running around, its now 9:30 am and the recital starts at noon. My hair is in the most perfect prettiest bun. I have on a pair of new beautiful pearl earrings, my black bodysuit, black stockings, tiny black ballet shoes (that still sit on my bookshelf), and a pink and black tu tu with pink and black ribbons in my hair. I feel more beautiful than ever and I feel I can’t be anymore ready for this recital until…we arrive at my ballet school and my heart is now in my stomach and I don’t know why on earth I ever joined this ballet class. I’m so nervous; I’m sweating like crazy. I walk in and see like 50 people that seem like hundreds. All of a sudden I don’t feel as pretty as before, my stockings are making me itch and everything just doesn’t feel right at all! I get backstage and I see everyone running around like a body without a head and I know that at this point there is no turning back. Its time to suck up this stage fright and just hope for the best at this point. We all line up and my instructor makes sure that everyone hair and outfits are just as pretty as they are. We all get onto the stage and see my mom, dad grandma, uncles and aunts and I relax. All my practicing and drive my mom crazy pays off because I’m thinking about the steps I’m just moving to the music and I feel like I'm floating and now I don’t want to leave the stage. I finish performing and all my family comes to the back with flowers and hugs and more congratulation than I can image and ballet has just changed from just an after school program to a passion that I grew to love.

1. This opening interested me enough to keep reading but I felt like her opening sentence should have had more specific detail.
2. I think this narrative will be about how a person had very important day to look forward to but she was nervous about it and scared but at the end it was a good outcome, and she was glad to do it.
3. She was very nervous about her ballet recital and she didn’t think that she could go through with it. Once Princess did the recital her butterflies were gone and she realized that it wasn’t hard at all and she appreciated all the love she got from her family and friends, and she knew that she could do it again.
4. Things I liked best were how she explained how she felt throughout the narrative and why she felt that way. The detail on what she was wearing and how she was during the recital and that made it a lot more interesting.
5. Things I would like to know more about were what happened after the recital. To me it seemed like it wasn’t an outcome from the story and I just wanted to know more about what she got out of the ballet dancing and the recital beside her being nervous, getting over with the recital and then having relief I feel like there should have been more.