i WANT3D THAT WAT3RiC3 [FiNAL DRAFT]

As I look back, I see how my perfect outfit dwindled to dust. I saved this outfit for as long as I could remember. This was the perfect day. I was hanging with my friends at the movies. We went to 69th street movie theatres to see the new movie Freddy vs. Jason. It was such a good day and I knew for sure nothing could ruin it. Back in the neighborhood, I wanted to end my night off with my favorite water ice. As I let the cherry water ice slide down my throat, I noticed there were little slices of cherry dancing on my tongue. This had to be a sign that my night would end as it began, PERFECT! As my sister, best friend, and I began to walk up Larchwood, I noticed a crowd of people looking at me. I thought it was because my new outfit was fly…Guess again. A neighbor hood girl ran out of her house, scarf tied around her weave, so I knew what it was hitting for. I prepared myself for a simple one-on-one. “Here Janik hold my water ice, I think I’m bout to fight.” I said. However after I gave her my water ice, I realized this wouldn’t be a simple one-on-one. I guess Janik noticed as well because the next thing I knew, my water ice comes in contact with the floor and I saw Janik’s keds scurrying around the corner as she yelled, “I’ll go get help.” All I could think was DARN!When the girl came up to me all I could hear was yelling; So my instinct was to just hit her, and that’s how it started (A simple one-on-one), kind of fun actually. Then all of a sudden there was a solar eclipse. My mistake it was her 400lbs sister hovering over my back. That’s when it hit me. Her large juicy meaty fist connected to my small frail frame. As her stomach did the Harlem Shake with out notice I saw my little sister crying trying her best to help and all I could think was, “that darn Janik.” After awhile it began to get helpless to try to fight back so I reserved my energy to keep from reaching the ground. One by one my perfect outfit dwindled. Ooops! Out came my ponytail. Then off they ripped my shirt. Suddenly my eye closes and my lip hangs. After all was said and done, I used my good eye and witnessed my “boyfriend” with tears streaming down his eyes. I assumed it was from the pain of seeing me get trashed. NOT! It was from the pain of his ribs splitting from laughter.As I picked up my dignity, I walked around the corner and saw something far more worst than the beating i had just recieved. With my good eye, I saw Janik finishing her water ice while doing me a huge favor, warming my front steps with her butt. The bad thing is, she didn't help me nor did she save my water ice. All I could think at the moment was "I wanted that water ice." I went into my home expecting my mother to have known my previous whereabouts, however Janik's keds did not have the same force to run up my steps as they had to leave the fight because my mother knew nothing. The night came and went but my toughts stayed the same, "I wanted that water ice."The next afternoon, I forgot about the embarassing moment and went to obtain a new water ice. Everything seemed to be going right for the day as the cold water ica slide down my throat and the cherry slices danced on my tounge. Walking up Larchwood didn't seem so bad until I noticed my clip on ponytail hanging from the telephone wire along with with multiple pairs of old shabby sneakers. I began to continue my walk home, head held high; I smiled and thought, "At least I have my water ice!"



Kristina said...
1.Does this opening interest you?Yes because i want to know how the title is related to the outfit mentioned in the opening sentence.

2.What do you think the narrative will be about?I think it will be about her spilling her water ice on her new outfit.

3.Summarize the narrative in one or two sentences.She gets a water ice and as she's eating it, she gets into a fight. After the brutal fight is over,black eye in all, she gets another water ice.

4.Finish this statement: Things I liked best were… the descriptions of the girl she fought and the way she looked afterward.

5.Complete this statement: Things I would like to know more about were… did the girl ever try to fight you again after that and how long did it take for your face to heal?
February 12, 2008 11:15 AM