Ring, Ring,"Hello"click! This is like the 5Th time I've called his phone since I've left the damn doctors room and every time he picks up I just can't seem to open my mouth. We've been together now for a little over two years and I know he loves me just as much as I love him, maybe more, but we are young and and neither of us is ready for this. My hands are shaky and sweaty. Yes, I have options I know I have options but when I think of those options I know what I will and will not do and what I can but won't do. Ive been out of the doctors room now for about a half, they gave me tons and tons of packets begging me to read all about this news I just found out about so that I am truly aware of my options but I cant read I cant even move. I cant even think strait. Right now all I'm thinking about is college and the fact that I'm only 17 years old. I just enrolled in this university and now this. How am I gonna tell him, my mom, everybody. What will my mom think of me? She warned about incidents like this and I just couldn't listen. She told me to be careful and not to overstep my boundaries thinking I'm grown too fast."No your limits and set your goals early in life" is what she has always said to me and now look!
I cant stop these tears from pouring down my face, nor can I find the strength to walk out of here, nor to call him and stomach what love has gotten me, I mean us into. OK, I know he knows the answer to this, I really need to just talk to my man and stop tripping. Yes this is very serious as serious as serious gets, but I know when I talk to him and when I see him everything will be fine, we love each other so much.
Ring, Ring," Mia, please stop hanging I know your upset but you have to just talk to me, Im here.Whatever it is we will get through this, I love you."
When he said that I knew we would get through anything together.
" Ramil i just came out of the doctors office and I'm so scared, I dint know what to do I'm shaking, I cant even leave out this building."
"Well just talk to me, tell me the problem and whatever it is we can handle it. Just relax."
" I rather talk face to face can you just come and get me."
" I'm already on my way ."
OK bet, he's coming and we"re gonna talk and i know him, we"ll be cool. I go out front and get in his car, i know he tell I've been crying. My eyes are bloodshot red and so puffy. As soon as he pulls off he hits with the question " so whats up".
" Ramil remember last month on valentines day when we....and you accidentally..and i was suppose to go get those pills the next day...well I had to work and i couldn't make it to the doctors and til today I hadn't made it and so you know the rest".
At this point he just goes blank, the car starts to slow down and then it stops.
"Why would you be such a dumb ass! All my friends said you would try this dumb shit. You tryna trap me ain't you? Tell me how much, how much this shit gonna cost me to get rid of it? You know what I don't even care, just get the hell out my car NOW"!
I cant even put together whats happening right now, is he serious. I couldn't talk, I just went blank and cried as he talked and then I got out, stood there and watched him pull off. At this point I knew it was time for me to make my first independent decision as a single mother. I caught the next bus home all the while reading the packets about this pregnancy I was about to go through all alone. When I got home my mother could tell I had been crying by my red and swollen eyes. she ask me where I had been and when she seen the tear run down my face she hugged me and said " I knew two weeks ago, I've just been wondering when you would find out".
" mom I'm so scared, Ramil doesn't want to have anything to do with me or this baby, I don't really know what decision i want to make about this pregnancy and being a single parent, I'm just confused and scared."
"well fist your not gonna be a single mother because regardless your decision I'm gonna be your rock, I'm always gonna be here to help you in life no matter the problem or circumstances I love you, now get some rest and ill bring you up some tea to relax I don't dint you stressing and worrying my grand baby".
"OMG! mom its time i yelled. My mom had been prepared for week and she rushed me out the door and had me at the hospitals in minutes. I was immediately rushed into surgery as an emergency delivery because my doctor said i was having complications. i was so scared. I heard the doctor yell out " where's the Father, we need his help now, we gotta get these triplets out!'
"Right here" i heard Ramil say.
I was so overwhelmed to hear his voice and even more to know i was having triplets that i pasted out. i couldn't believe he came back into my life, all our lives, we where a family.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
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